TGIF Blogstalkers, am I right?
It's been a long week around here. I accidentally shrunk my favorite sweater, befouled my newly immaculate kitchen by trying to take a scalding hot bowl of spaghetti out of the microwave without oven mitts and then quickly realizing how hot it was and screaming and throwing the bowl into the air and I have a husband who can not stop coughing on the back of my neck in the middle of the night. (Poor poor Ryan, he's so sick right now.)
On the flip side, my dogs had an excellent week! They got a new sweater and had fun cleaning spaghetti off of the kitchen floor.
The cap to it all though was when I was doing the nightly search of my scalp for grey hairs and found something alarming.
Lauren: Ahhhh! What is this?
Ryan: *from the bed* What ever is the problem now dear?
Lauren: There is a bright red hair growing out of the front of my head. Like neon red if that were a thing. A color that totally doesn't exist in nature.
Ryan: Are you sure it's not just a piece of spaghetti from earlier?
Lauren: Yes RYAN, I am pretty sure I can tell the difference between my hair and spaghetti but thank you for being helpful as always. Look!
Ryan: Haha that is weird. That's the reddest thing I've ever seen.
Lauren: It seems my scalp has just decided to sprout hairs in all of the colors of the rainbow. People are going to start asking me if I'm wearing a clown wig before long and I'll have to just be like, no this is my normal hair.
Ryan: It's like your love of wigs and costumes is backfiring. It's karma.
Lauren: Or maybe a freakish hormone imbalance, I'm calling Tatiana in the morning.
Ryan: Who?
Lauren: My doctor Ryan, obviously.
Ryan: You are a freak. You call your doctor if you poke yourself in the eye. *adopts girlish voice* I'm worried I may disrupted the rods and cones.
Lauren: What was that? Was that supposed to be me? I can't help it if I'm a hypochondriac and have a very low pain tolerance.
Ryan: Yeah who knows how you plan to get through childbirth.
Lauren: With drugs Ryan. All the drugs! I even made Tatiana make an advance note on my chart that I want all the existing safe birthing drugs during labor. I instructed her to specifically note that if any new drugs were invented between now and then to make sure I get those as well.
Ryan: And she did that?
Lauren: She at least pretended to.
Ryan: I'm going to sleep.
Lauren: And I'm going to self-diagnose this red hair using the internet. Oooh this link says I can determine what's wrong using palm reading.
Ryan: Great.
Lauren: No it is great actually. My health line is quite vivid, I must be fine. Completely in balance hormonally.
Ryan: I can assure you that is not the case.
Lauren: What the heck!? I don't have a marriage line! Give me your hand. Oh good you do have one, we're married.
Ryan: Believe me I have more than one line from this marriage.
Lauren: Yeah I've been noticing that you're starting to get a bit wrinkly.
Ryan: Goodnight Lauren.
Lauren: Goodnight monkey.
So that was our perfectly normal weekday bedtime conversation. Hope you all have a lovely weekend!
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It's been a long week around here. I accidentally shrunk my favorite sweater, befouled my newly immaculate kitchen by trying to take a scalding hot bowl of spaghetti out of the microwave without oven mitts and then quickly realizing how hot it was and screaming and throwing the bowl into the air and I have a husband who can not stop coughing on the back of my neck in the middle of the night. (Poor poor Ryan, he's so sick right now.)
On the flip side, my dogs had an excellent week! They got a new sweater and had fun cleaning spaghetti off of the kitchen floor.
The cap to it all though was when I was doing the nightly search of my scalp for grey hairs and found something alarming.
Lauren: Ahhhh! What is this?
Ryan: *from the bed* What ever is the problem now dear?
Lauren: There is a bright red hair growing out of the front of my head. Like neon red if that were a thing. A color that totally doesn't exist in nature.
Ryan: Are you sure it's not just a piece of spaghetti from earlier?
Lauren: Yes RYAN, I am pretty sure I can tell the difference between my hair and spaghetti but thank you for being helpful as always. Look!
Ryan: Haha that is weird. That's the reddest thing I've ever seen.
Lauren: It seems my scalp has just decided to sprout hairs in all of the colors of the rainbow. People are going to start asking me if I'm wearing a clown wig before long and I'll have to just be like, no this is my normal hair.
Ryan: It's like your love of wigs and costumes is backfiring. It's karma.
Lauren: Or maybe a freakish hormone imbalance, I'm calling Tatiana in the morning.
Ryan: Who?
Lauren: My doctor Ryan, obviously.
Ryan: You are a freak. You call your doctor if you poke yourself in the eye. *adopts girlish voice* I'm worried I may disrupted the rods and cones.
Lauren: What was that? Was that supposed to be me? I can't help it if I'm a hypochondriac and have a very low pain tolerance.
Ryan: Yeah who knows how you plan to get through childbirth.
Lauren: With drugs Ryan. All the drugs! I even made Tatiana make an advance note on my chart that I want all the existing safe birthing drugs during labor. I instructed her to specifically note that if any new drugs were invented between now and then to make sure I get those as well.
Ryan: And she did that?
Lauren: She at least pretended to.
Ryan: I'm going to sleep.
Lauren: And I'm going to self-diagnose this red hair using the internet. Oooh this link says I can determine what's wrong using palm reading.
Ryan: Great.
Lauren: No it is great actually. My health line is quite vivid, I must be fine. Completely in balance hormonally.
Ryan: I can assure you that is not the case.
Lauren: What the heck!? I don't have a marriage line! Give me your hand. Oh good you do have one, we're married.
Ryan: Believe me I have more than one line from this marriage.
Lauren: Yeah I've been noticing that you're starting to get a bit wrinkly.
Ryan: Goodnight Lauren.
Lauren: Goodnight monkey.
So that was our perfectly normal weekday bedtime conversation. Hope you all have a lovely weekend!
